Tag Archives: gay marriage

I am peter pan

I don’t even know how I started watching those clips on youtube but now I feel sadly nostalgic.

You know you are of a certain age when you even know what nostalgia means.

And you know you are definitely of a certain age when you are nostalgic and wonder if life was better when “you were young”.


So I was watching those Queer As Folk (QAF) clips about the old gang of Brian, Justin, Michael, Emmett and Ted. I started watching QAF at 22 when I was doing my exchange program in upstate new york. I was staying in a dorm but would go to a friend’s place to watch QAF every Sunday since I didn’t have TV. I had a miserable time those 6 months since I was so lonely but those Sundays were special to me. Every day I was so fearful, so afraid of the outside world because I was in the states for the first time, I simply didn’t know how to relate to white people.

But every Sunday night, I found my escape from reality. Things were good for an hour at least.


So I came to rely on QAF as an emotional clutch. But even then, as much as I needed the show, I never really believed in the characters as fully actualized creations. They all seemed like archetypes to me – Brian the sex god, Michael the goody boy next door, Emmett the big nelly bottom, Ted the sexless nerd, Justin the twink.

They didn’t seem real. And I did fault many of the storylines as unrealistic and contrived.

As much as I liked and depended on the show, I found so many faults with it.

I was young and demanding.

Now, older and slightly less demanding, I realized what an amazing coup the show was even to be created in the first place. It really did push the envelope and galvanized the gay community. Asking for the right to be who we are didn’t seem so outrageous after that.

And those unrealistic and silly storylines seem so much more relevant to me now. When I watched the storyline of Michael getting “married” to Ben, the 22 year old me was like “oh please, that’s silly. Just live together, what’s the point of getting married?”


And then when they “adopted” a HIV+ teenager, it was just too weird for me. I thought “why would they want to go through all these trouble?”

Now I understand.

Gay marriage, gay adoption, monogamy, coping with friends with lifestyles you don’t identity with… these are real flesh and blood issues gay people face with.

Unlike straight people who typically get married, have kids and get fat (kidding!), gay people find a myriad of lifestyles and choice can be confusing.

What do we do with our lives? Be like our straight parents i.e. get married and have kids? Be like our rebellious gay friends i.e. never settle down, have all the sex you want, possibly die alone? Is there a middle ground?

Or should we just go with the flow and not demand life conforms to any expectations?

Life’s pretty scary that way, when you go with the flow.

Or maybe that’s just my old age talking.


Love is love is love

It’s sad that prop 8 passed in California.

Of all places, California.

My image of heaven, tarnished just a little bit by the bigotry displaced.

I really believed that love will win the day, persuade those “religious” people that love is sacred regardless what forms it might manifest.

But in the end, dogma won out. By 2%.

It’s a sad sad day.

Especially when a church would spend its time and energy rallying people to stop people from marrying and loving. The world is full of hate, despair and sadness. And the Mormon church thinks denying people the right to marry is a worthy cause to spend $40+ million and countless hours on.

I don’t understand.

But we will prevail. With time. With patience. With grace

In the meantime, I take solace in the compassion and kindness of strangers. Keith Olbermann expressed my outrage with such eloquence:

Groom, you may now kiss the groom

It’s so cool watching history being changed right before your eyes.

Gay marriage legalized in California, who would have thought?

Oh wait, it happened before in 2004

But still… seeing all those beautiful photos of happy people getting married, being so together, being joined together in joy by their families.

And there’s really nothing like seeing two old ladies getting married to get your heart to sing…

Americans get so caught up with semantics, the right get so outraged about gay people corrupting the institution of marriage while the left gets all giddy with the idea of two men/women getting married.

But what’s happening in California is not about marriage per se, it’s about having a choice to be married in the first place.

It’s about equality, being able to be in the ICU when your partner is sick, being able to have kids together, being regarded as next of kin.. small things.

Small important things.

It’s really about the right to be together. Legally.

I’m sure not every gay couple wants to be married, projections estimate that only 100,000+ couples will get married because of the new ruling.

But the wonderful thing is that if and when a gay couple decides to, it is a right they can pursue just like everybody else.