Being alone is fine…

Being alone together is perfect.

Boyfriend J has gone back to California for interviews and I’m all alone in Boston for the past week.

Nothing wrong with that, I have always been pretty independent and work consume so much of my time already so it didn’t make alot of difference. I quite liked having my own time reading, going to cafes and hanging out with new friends.

It was nice… for the first 5 days.

Now I kinda miss him waiting for me when I come back to the apartment, ready to listen to me and talk about what happened during the day. And while we used to jostle for space on my tiny bed, the bed without him now feels too big and empty.

My philosophy towards relationships has always been one of coupled independence. I would hate for my boyfriend to depend on me totally, emotionally, financially or spiritually. I like to learn from my partner and if we spend all our energies on each other, how do we learn new things to keep each other challenged?

Maybe it’s fate that I’m now in Boston. One of my favourite movies is…. drum rolls… “Next Stop Wonderland“. Surprise surprise! The movie is about two lives who cross in Boston on the T on the blue line, one unlucky in love nurse and a plumber trying to change careers. Throughout the movie they don’t meet but share an emotional connection that ties their lives together, hence the the movie’s tagline “Being alone is fine. Being alone together is perfect”.


Don’t ask me why the poster’s tagline is the cheesey “Love is the destination”. Hmmmm….

But anyway with J now in California and potentially taking a job over there, I don’t relish the idea of resuming our long distance relationship. We have been doing this long distance relationship for 5 years and the distance was a little shorter when I was in Chicago doing my grad studies and he in upstate new york. So if he takes up the job in Cali, we’re looking at at least another year of coast to coast air commute. Not fun, not fun at all.

It seems with globalization, human talents are so mobile, we’re no longer contended to settle. We’re drawn to bigger, brighter opportunities around the world and couples are increasingly facing he propspect of doing a long distance relationship at least once. At least 4 of my friends are doing such relationships and a few others are facing that possibility as well.

I went to attend Singapore Day at New York City the week before and it was just weird to see all these singaporeans in the middle of Central Park watching other singaporeans perform onstage, so far away from home and probably their family and loved ones.

“You’ve seen it all and all you have seen
You can always review on your own little screen
The light and the dark, the big and the small
Just keep in mind – you need no more at all
You’ve seen what you were and know what you’ll be
You’ve seen it all – there is no more to see”

Bjork, “I seen it all”, Selmasongs


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